Hurting

I've been hurting for some time. In many places.

One of the more worrying places is that the last two fingers on my left hand always not much feeling. My left hand's always more weak.

Ive gone to many places for help. Then today i went to this acupuncture sinseh. He was damn rough man. Jerked my left hand so hard that the insides all had a tingling feeling. It's almost like all my nerves were firing up.

Then he pierced the acupuncture needles to each of the joints on my last 3 fingers. Ive had acupuncture before but this felt damn pain. Then i realised he pierced the joints to bleed them. After he squeezed out the blood, he then used a stick (which is shaped like a nail file) and kneading at each of the wounded joints. I was screaming. After a while, the joints all turned blue black. He said it was all the bad blood stuck there.

All this while i was lying on my tummy on his table with needles in my back, writing away like a beached whale.

My hand feels much better now.

Song

I heard this song on the Sichuan Charity Fund Raising show this evening. Some of the artistes and their kids were butchering this song.

It sounded familiar but i couldnt place it.

The sad lyrics made me think it was Jay Chou's Shi Jie Mo Ri. But i thought it was quite a weird song to choose.

Then i realised it's not the Jay Chou song.

It's actually this song.

I actually remember watching this MTV in a KTV, on a rare occasion i went to a KTV (think only 3 times in my life). Brought back so so so many memories.

Sigh.. im very sad now.

Tripping

I'm tripping. I left my previous job cos of the intense travelling. Thought i can relak one korner here.

I'll be going to Hanoi and Ho Chi Minh City next week.

The following week, I'll be relocating to China for three weeks - got a nice cosy hotel in Shanghai and then flying domestic to Beijing, Sanya, Haikou, Guangzhou, Qingdao, Chengdu (shudder).

My boss said to stay at least 2 wks but i can extend to 3 weeks. Will see my mood. I'll definitely be back for this.



I went to their concert the last time they were here in 2005.

Just Cant Run Far Enough

I used to run quite a bit. I enjoyed it. I used to run from my house to east coast on weekends when i book out. It felt good. Till i fractured my ankle.

Then i bought a bicycle. Then i cycled all the way to east coast. Much easier than running. But cycling is more dangerous than running.

I used to swim a lot. I used to swim on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, hours on each stretch. I have lifesaving certificates,long distance award and some speed awards even. But after some years of not swimming in uni, i now get a headache when i swim in a pool.

It just feels like sometimes things dont last. It's really odd that i get headaches after swimming, despite being decently good at it at one time.

Nothing lasts.

Ive started running a bit now. I went cycling on Monday and thereafter i went shopping for goggles.

I'm thinking of joining a triathlon. http://www.triathlon.sg/ Thinking of doing the Mini - swim 200m, cycle 10km, run 2km. Doesnt sound difficult on paper but to do all three consecutively.

Sweets

I met an ex-colleague for dinner that night.

She said she wanted to buy me a meal cos she got a good bonus. But i decided on such an expensive place that i decided to buy her a meal instead.

When she met me, she showed me something she stole from the office for me.

Running

I started jogging after work recently as i wanted to get my mind off things and maybe lose some weight.

First time i jogged, was the first in some years since ive used my track shoes. Track shoes were bought in my US tour in Dec 2002 for merely US$25. But it's quite a funky design and i love it.



When i put on my shoes after such a long time, the side straps came out. Thank goodness, the entire shoe's like a glove, so i could still run after removing the laces.





After that, i decided to go buy another pair.



I remember being one of 24 people in Singapore in 1992 to own the Nike Air 180.

Has it been worth it?

You give it a lot of thought.

You wonder if you need her in your life.

You've done without her in your life so far and it's been fine.

You consider for a long time. Is this right? Is this the right decision? Are you ready for this step?

You buy things to make her happy, hoping that if she's happy you become happy too.

At the end of the day, it's not about the money. You'd have bought her the world if she wanted it. It's about the commitment.

You worry if it'll end up with nothing. Will it be a headache, heartache or immense joy?

You wonder if it'd bring you the immense joy that you, your mother, your father, your sister have been waiting for.

Is it worth it? You cant tell till you make the next step.

You realise that the word "worth" pops up more often than others. It's a question of worth because in all things there's a cost and benefit and you jus have to weigh it, consider it, analyse it to make sure the joy you feel is more than the risk you're taking.

So many things you'd have to consider before you hire a maid.

Today I’ve Lost You - Take That

Driving home in my car, nearly midnight
Rain on the road in my view
Holes in my heart, it’s the first night without you
On my clothes I still smell your perfume

Should i call?
When I left you were crying
Is it too late to apologise
From talking to fighting, admitting, denying
To finally saying goodbye

Now I regret every word that was spoken
I said some things you know I didn’t mean
Maybe we’ll turn back the time
Work it out, start anew
Or maybe today I’ve lost you

I can’t help but think of our last conversation
I close my eyes I can still see your face
I hope what I’m feeling now
You are feeling it too
Or maybe today I’ve lost you

Driving faster out on this empty road
Being single’s so bad at twenty-three
Looking for signs, asking strangers directions
When the answer’s right in front of me

Strange how a day it can feel like a lifetime
I know what I had now it’s gone
Ive swallowed my pride cos alone here, I’m dying
And with you is where I belong

For twenty-four hours I’ve been searching for reasons
Reasons why we should be living apart
Hope I’m not too late to come home
Work it out, start anew
Or maybe today I’ve lost you

maybe today, I’ve lost you
maybe today, I’ve lost you