I saw this article and I felt it was very meaningful and more importantly I felt that it really applied to me.
I always felt that I was an introvert but in some ways because of the way I carry myself, people think otherwise.
In any case, all these words are just labels. Labels serve to help us understand a person/situation better because it often contains a basket of characteristics but yet at the same time, it can be oversweeping as well.
Unbelievably, it ALL applies to me except #12, where I think is rather borderline.
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Think you can spot an introvert in a crowd? Think again. Although the
stereotypical introvert may be the one at the party who's hanging out alone by
the food table fiddling with an iPhone, the "social butterfly" can
just as easily have an introverted personality.
"Spotting the introvert can be harder than finding Waldo," Sophia
Dembling, author of
"The
Introvert's Way: Living a Quiet Life in a Noisy World," tells The
Huffington Post. "A lot of introverts can pass as extroverts."
People are frequently unaware that they’re introverts -– especially if
they’re not shy -- because they may not realize that being an introvert is
about more than just cultivating time alone. Instead, it can be more
instructive to pay attention to whether they're losing or gaining energy from
being around others, even if the company of friends gives them pleasure.
“Introversion is a basic temperament, so the social aspect -- which is what
people focus on -- is really a small part of being an introvert," Dr.
Marti Olsen Laney, psychotherapist and author of "The Introvert
Advantage,"
said
in a Mensa discussion. "It affects everything in your life.”
Despite the
growing
conversation around introversion, it remains a frequently misunderstood
personality trait. As recently as 2010, the American Psychiatric Association
even considered classifying
"introverted
personality" as a disorder by listing it in the Diagnostic and Statistical
Manual (DSM-5), a manual used to diagnose mental illness.
But more and more introverts are
speaking
out about what it
really means
to be a "quiet" type.
Not
sure if you're an innie or an outie? See if any of these 23 telltale signs of
introversion apply to you.
1. You find small talk incredibly
cumbersome.
Introverts are notoriously small talk-phobic, as they find idle chatter to
be a source of anxiety, or at least annoyance. For many quiet types, chitchat
can feel disingenuous.
“Let's clear one thing up: Introverts do not hate small talk because we
dislike people," Laurie Helgoe writes in
"Introvert
Power: Why Your Inner Life Is Your Hidden Strength." "We hate
small talk because we hate the barrier it creates between people.”
2. You go to parties -– but not to
meet people.
If you're an introvert, you may sometimes enjoy going to parties, but
chances are, you're not going because you're excited to meet new people. At a
party, most introverts would rather spend time with people they already know
and feel comfortable around. If you happen to meet a new person that you
connect with, great -- but meeting people is rarely the goal.
3. You often feel alone in a crowd.
Ever feel like an outsider in the middle of social gatherings and group
activities, even with people you know?
"If you tend to find yourself feeling alone in a crowd, you might be an
introvert," says Dembling. "We might let friends or activities pick
us, rather than extending our own invitations."
4. Networking makes you feel like a
phony.
Networking (read: small-talk with the end goal of advancing your career) can
feel particularly disingenuous for introverts, who crave authenticity in their
interactions.
"Networking is stressful if we do it in the ways that are stressful to
us," Dembling says, advising introverts to network in small, intimate
groups rather than at large mixers.
5. You've been called "too
intense."
Do you have a penchant for philosophical conversations and a love of
thought-provoking books and movies? If so, you're a textbook introvert.
"Introverts like to jump into the deep end," says Dembling.
6. You're easily distracted.
While extroverts tend to get bored easily when they don't have enough to do,
introverts have the opposite problem -- they get easily distracted and
overwhelmed in environments with an excess of stimulation.
"Extroverts are commonly found to be more easily bored than introverts
on monotonous tasks, probably because they require and thrive on high levels of
stimulation,"
Clark
University researchers wrote in a paper published in the Journal of Personality
and Social Psychology. "In contrast, introverts are more easily
distracted than extroverts and, hence, prefer relatively unstimulating
environments."
7. Downtime doesn’t feel
unproductive to you.
One of the most fundamental characteristics of introverts is that they need time
alone to recharge their batteries. Whereas an extrovert might get bored or
antsy spending a day at home alone with tea and a stack of magazines, this sort
of down time feels necessary and satisfying to an introvert.
8. Giving a talk in front of 500 people
is less stressful than having to mingle with those people afterwards.
Introverts can be excellent leaders and public speakers -- and although
they're stereotyped as being the shrinking violet, they don't necessarily shy
away from the spotlight. Performers like
Lady
Gaga, Christina Aguilera and Emma Watson all
identify
as introverts, and an estimated
40
percent of CEOs have introverted personalities. Instead, an introvert might
struggle more with meeting and greeting large groups of people on an individual
basis.
9. When you get on the subway, you
sit at the end of the bench -– not in the middle.
Whenever possible, introverts tend to avoid being surrounded by people on
all sides.
"We're likely to sit in places where we can get away when we're ready
to -- easily," says Dembling. "When I go to the theater, I want the
aisle seat or the back seat."
10. You start to shut down after
you’ve been active for too long.
Do you start to get tired and unresponsive after you've been out and about
for too long? It's likely because you’re trying to conserve energy. Everything
introverts do in the outside world causes them to expend energy, after which
they'll need to go back and replenish their stores in a quiet environment, says
Dembling. Short of a quiet place to go, many introverts will resort to zoning
out.
11. You're in a relationship with an
extrovert.
It's true that opposites attract, and introverts frequently gravitate
towards outgoing extroverts who encourage them to have fun and not take themselves
too seriously.
"Introverts are sometimes drawn to extroverts because they like being
able to ride their 'fun bubble,'" Dembling says.
12. You'd rather be an expert at one
thing than try to do everything.
The dominant brain pathways introverts use is one that allows you to focus
and think about things for a while, so they’re geared toward intense study and
developing expertise,
according
to Olsen Laney.
13. You actively avoid any shows
that might involve audience participation.
Because really, is anything more terrifying?
14. You screen all your calls --
even from friends.
You may not pick up your phone even from people you like, but you’ll call
them back as soon as you’re mentally prepared and have gathered the energy for
the conversation.
"To me, a ringing phone is like having somebody jump out of a closet
and go 'BOO!,'" says Dembling. "I do like having a long, nice phone
call with a friend -- as long as it's not jumping out of the sky at me."
15. You notice details that others
don't.
The upside of being overwhelmed by too much stimuli is that introverts often
have a keen eye for detail, noticing things that may escape others around them.
Research
has
found that introverts exhibit increased brain activity when processing
visual information, as compared to extroverts.
16. You have a constantly running
inner monologue.
“Extroverts don’t have the same internal talking as we do,” says Olsen
Laney. “Most introverts need to think first and talk later."
17. You have low blood pressure.
A
2006 Japanese study
found that introverts tend to have lower blood pressure than their extroverted
counterparts.
18. You’ve been called an “old soul”
-– since your 20s.
Introverts observe and take in a lot of information, and they think before
they speak, leading them to appear wise to others.
"Introverts tend to think hard and be analytical," says Dembling.
"That can make them seem wise."
19. You don't feel "high"
from your surroundings
Neurochemically speaking, things like huge parties just aren’t your thing.
Extroverts and introverts differ significantly in how their brains process
experiences through "reward" centers.
Researchers
demonstrated this phenomenon by giving Ritalin -- the ADHD drug that
stimulates dopamine production in the brain -- to introverted and extroverted
college students. They found that extroverts were more likely to associate the
feeling of euphoria achieved by the rush of dopamine with the environment they
were in. Introverts, by contrast, did not connect the feeling of reward to their
surroundings. The study "suggests that introverts have a fundamental
difference in how strongly they process rewards from their environment, with
the brains of introverts weighing internal cues more strongly than external
motivational and reward cues," explained LiveScience's Tia Ghose.
20. You look at the big picture.
When describing the way that introverts think, Jung explained that they're
more interested in ideas and the big picture rather than facts and details. Of
course, many introverts excel in detail-oriented tasks -- but they often have a
mind for more abstract concepts as well.
"Introverts do really enjoy abstract discussion," says Dembling.
21. You’ve been told to “come out of
your shell.”
Many introverted children come to believe that there's something
"wrong" with them if they're naturally less outspoken and assertive
than their peers. Introverted adults often say that as children, they were told
to come out of their shells or
participate
more in class.
22. You’re a writer.
Introverts are often
better
at communicating in writing than in person, and many are drawn to the
solitary, creative profession of writing. Most introverts --
like
"Harry Potter" author J.K. Rowling -- say that they feel most
creatively charged when they have time to be alone with their thoughts.
23. You alternate between phases of
work and solitude, and periods of social activity.
Introverts can move around their introverted “set point” which determines
how they need to balance solitude with social activity. But when they move too
much -- possibly by over-exerting themselves with too much socializing and
busyness -- they get stressed and need to come back to themselves, according
Olsen Laney. This may manifest as going through periods of heightened social
activity, and then balancing it out with a period of inwardness and solitude.
"There's a recovery point that seems to be correlated with how much
interaction you've done," says Dembling. "We all have our own private
cycles."
