Badminton

Quite fortutiously, I met an old industry friend at the recent Hong Kong conference. We see the same people day in day out. He's a Singaporean living in Shanghai too and i asked him for some tips on living in Shanghai. He told me he played badminton at least twice a week! I was actually in two minds to join him because I wasnt sure if i was going to be sociable so i didnt bring my racquet or shoes to Shanghai. However, after that wasted weekend i hate, i decided i shouldnt waste my weekends anymore, so i called him up to say i'll join. He offered to order a racquet for me. I quickly went to buy a pair of shoes. The first session was last Saturday and was supposed to be at a school in the suburbs. I was there 30 mins early and i saw this. Turns out the school was having a "last minute" accounting exam and we cant use the location. But then my kakis said there's another place we can play. We quickly rushed there. here's what the courts look like. Looks like a typical Chinese sweatshop-like badminton training facility. Badminton was quite fun although i didnt play too well because it was just too cold and all my joints were frozen. For some reason they felt very on about it and we played on Sunday again. Haha.

Passwords

It was a conscious decision for me to join a larger company. I have never worked in one before and I was fascinated by that prospect. I very soon found out the numerous paperwork larger companies entail. One other thing is the number of systems and processes. There's of course the email log in. Then there is a system for company intranet, another password. Then there're websites to apply for leave, approve people's leave, approve expenses and submit expenses. That's four more passwords there. Then there's new Internet banking password, QQ email account, taobao account and 360buy. I have already forgotten my QQ password as well as resetted my leave approval passwords. Tough man.

Weekend

It was a tiring first week. Hit the ground running getting my feet deep in the deals. It was my first full Saturday here and although I dressed up to go out to explore, I went to the supermarket downstairs to buy fresh milk and then went back. So much for exploring. Sunday wasn't much better. I explored a little around the area with an intention to cut my hair. The nearest one charged S$10. That's a third of what I pay in Singapore. In fact in Singapore, I used to cut S$80 for a while until I felt it wasn't worth it. As I walked further, I found another place that charged S$6!! I wasn't sure if S$6 haircuts would make me look stupid. I didn't want to look like an idiot in front of my new colleagues. I subsequently also found a place that costs S$5! In the end I decided to go with the S$10 one. Decided to slip into mediocrity slowly. So that was the first weekend. Fresh milk and haircut.

The Team

There are three people in my team. I'm supposed to hire one more. As it turns out, two of them have the same first name and two other people in the entire shanghai office also share the name. Great job. Out of four of these same namers, two are in my team and one of them even has the same first AND last name as someone outside our team. I'm not sure if this makes sense to you. In any case, one of them is much older than me. I have tried to be open minded but with my various interactions with her, I think it'd be hard managing her. Because of her age, they call her 大大V. Then the other girls are called 大V，中V and 小V. 中V is my secretary. Fr the purpose of this blog, I shall call them Big V and Small V so that I don't have to keep changing to the Chinese keyboard. The other team member is P. We feel like a motley crew. I shall try to make this a well oiled business development machine.

Day Two

Days two, three and four were spent away from Shanghai as I had to attend an offsite conference by my new company. It was quite fun really. Meeting all the regional heads as well as our President from the US. China is going to be a focus of growth for the company after lagging behind the competition for years now. My AP president presented the strategy and called me out to introduce me as the one to be leading the charge. It was a proud moment but yet a little stressful because now everyone knows my KPI for 2013.

Day One

The send off was more difficult than I thought it would be. I thought it would have been easier as Someone was in Geneva on my departure date. I was wrong. It was tearful and tough and I was so distraught that I didn't buy some stuff that I needed to buy at DFS. Shanghai was its usual grey but this time it reflected my mood. The apartment was exactly how I thought it would be. Except maybe the living room was larger than I thought with a resulting smaller bedroom. But it's fine. The living room will be more used when Someone comes. As I laid in bed on the first night, the reality hit me like a ton of bricks.. This is real. I'm really here now. I feel so alone now. That's weird for me because I'm very used to being alone. Was it a right move to uproot our lives, abandon my weekly golf and badminton games, leave our families and friends, sell my new car in search for a better future? Was it worth it? In some weird way, I felt like my grandparents who left their hometown to come settle in Singapore. Lots of people work overseas. It should be fine. I hope.

Back!

I managed to get VPN! Able to access Facebook, YouTube, etc! W00t! I will be updating this blog with some of my musings in my early days in Shanghai on my laptop.

Farewell

In part due to my prodding, Someone has decided to go on her work trip to Geneva this weekend. This means that she wont be around during my last week in Singapore. This also means she wont be around when i depart for Shanghai. That means that when she returns from Geneva, Ill be gone. That's a depressing thought. I hate farewells. Sometimes, i think that cascades to how i communicate with people. In my whatsapps, MSNs, etc, I dont ever say bye. I just keep quiet until the conversation dies a natural death. I think farewells provide the people staying behind an avenue for them to say bye and grief appropriately. Sometimes, its more for the people staying behind than the person leaving. It's like a funeral. But sometimes, i really dont care. It hurts and sometimes I just want to grieve alone. It feels like I'm dying because I have been cleaning up my affairs in the last few weeks - closing bank accounts, cancelling credit cards, arranging for GIRO payments, etc.

Work Work Work

My new boss called me the other day and asked if I can start earlier in the Singapore office so that I can teach some of the people there financial modelling. Im a bit sian to cut short my leave but in effect, it's just working one working day earlier and getting three more days od pay cos I start on a Friday. So, I start work this Friday.

Hit the Ground Running

I start work on 8 Oct in Singapore then i fly to Hong Kong on 10 October for a conference. I return to Singapore on Friday 12 October before flying to Shanghai on 13 October. After one night in Shanghai, I then take the high-speed train to Wuxi for a management conference on 14 October that stretches till 17 October. It's going to be a fast two weeks! It's quite coincidental because when i started with my previous company, I also started in the week they had a management conference in the US. Hope it's fun!

Overkill

If there's one thing i hate more about waiting, it is boredom. This is the amount of things I brought to keep me/us occupied during a one-night stay at the hospital. One Macbook Air 2 iPads One Kindle One Bose noise cancelling earphones

Excited

While im relishing my break but yet not really looking forward to being away from family, im also excited about the new job. There are of course the shallow things like new laptop, new blackberry, new email address, etc. I was curious to know what my email address will be. So i emailed myself using different permutations on my name. I now know what my email address is. I know it's the one because when i did this some time back, the email bounced back but this time it didnt. I will also have a team to manage. It's been some time since I have to manage people. Indeed, I left my first job because I didnt want to manage a team of fresh grads. I think I got more than what I have asked for because now the team is bigger with one manager and one director and one assistant. Im supposed to hire one more director and one more manager when i come on board. That'd be exciting. A little potential bump would be that one of the existing director is born in 1960. I wonder how it'd be like managing an older woman. I even manage to find out that I'll be getting a room there. W00t!

Busy Busy

So many things have been happening in my life recently. In the last 15 months, we bought an apartment, we embarked on our first time renovation project, then we decided to get married, then marriage preparations. We havent yet made the bed warm before I made the decision to relocate to Shanghai. In an odd way, these various events gave me the opportunity to connect or re-connect with friends - from informing friends of my newly renovated apartment and inviting them over and of course inviting friends to my wedding to meeting up with friends before I leave for Shanghai. Oddly enough, I feel more and more like a recluse of late. I never did had many friends over my new place. I also kept my wedding invite list uber short. As for catching up with friends before I leave, in some ways I feel lazy to meet. In some ways, if people dont contact me with a suggested date, I usually would just ignore it. I have no idea why. I have mentioned in a very old post here that Im bad at keeping up with relations and more so for friends who live away from Singapore. I'll probably end up with no friends in Shanghai really. Haha. Sometimes i think that i only want to meet people for golf and mahjong. Other than that, Id rather be home watching TV or reading. I think i inherited my mum's hermit personality. Well, at least there's cheap DVDs in Shanghai.

Ancient

I also returned this ancient blackberry that my company issued me on the first day i started in 2008.

I only used it for a short while before I got my own BB Bold, BB Bold 2 and now BB Bold 3. Trading in my BB 3 now. I heard that my new company has already purchased my BB with a local Shanghai number and has passed it to my new boss to bring it back to Singapore. My name cards are also already printed. I like such efficiencies. I hope this isnt just at the onset.

Best Leave

I have always told people that the best sort of leave is the leave that you take in between jobs.

Your previous job wont bother you. Your new job has nothing to bother you.

All this time you're getting paid for clearing leave.

I have a month of this sort of leave but it's a pity that there's so much things to do and pack before I leave.

Yawn.

Final Word

Here's another farewell that I sent out - this time to my colleagues. Sometimes I surprise myself with the words I come up with. 

Hi everyone

It’s been a great honour and privilege to have worked together with you during my time in XXX.

From the time I joined the company when it was just boss and I, then another colleague coming on board shortly, we have now grown in terms of family members to number of projects.

Our Chairman told me once that he thinks a “decent-sized” company should have at least XXX projects. That’s the reason why I have a running list at the back of where I sit. The number stands at YYY now. We are YYY projects away from being a “decent-sized company”.

Regretfully I won’t be around to push on for this effort. I'm sure you will support my replacement as vigorously as you have with me in order to meet this target.

Stay well and work with integrity and don’t be a stranger.

Yours

Cornball

Last Day

It was a rather emotional goodbye on my last day. That was a week ago. Immediately after my last day, we went to Hong Kong for a holiday. That explains my silence on blogger.

Im not sure if everyone faces this on their last day but there are always different groups of people to whom you'd want to say different type of good byes. I sent this to my bosses and their family members:

Dear members of the XXX family

Today is my last day at YYY.

It has been a huge pleasure and even greater privilege to have worked together with you in the last four and a half years.

I leave with a tinge of sadness today because of the bonds we have formed during this time but at the same time, I leave with the blessed assurance that we will keep in touch and our paths will cross.

My personal email address is cornballz@gmail.com and my cellphone number will remain at ZZZZ ZZZZ.

Thank you again.

Always

Cornball

And on my last day, this is all i took back. This NTUC bag of stuff. Haha. 

End of Days

This coming wednesday is the last day at my job.

I dont know how I'd feel really. On one hand, I'd feel a sense of relief and on one hand I'd feel a tinge of sadness.

Sometimes I think i put in too much emotional capital into jobs, so much so that i develop an emotional bond to the job. But maybe that's what makes me good at my job.

I've always thought that resigning from a job implicitly says to your colleagues that "Ive found a better place to go to every day. Better place, better pay and probably better colleagues."

With that in mind, the relationship just changes immediately after you tender. It's like breaking up from your boyfriend/girlfriend. Something isnt quite the same again.

But nonetheless, I have one more month before i relocate to Shanghai. I hope that's exciting.

Massage

I just found out my regular masseuse has gone back to China. I liked him because he studied TCM in the military and was very strong too.

I think I need to move to China to look for him.

 

Outlawed by Inlaw

I always thought that it was clichéd during thank-you speeches in wedding banquets that the newly weds would joke sheepishly that have to change mouth and call the in-laws “mum” and “dad”.

 

IT IS VERY DIFFICULT!

 

I have tried a few times but I have failed.

 

So I devised a plan, whereby instead of calling “Hi Dad and Mum”, I just say a very loud “Hello!”. I have managed to get away with you.

 

Or so I thought.

 

My mum-in –law just told my wife that she noticed I don’t greet them anymore.

 

Kwa kwa.

Socks

I have basically two types of socks for work.

 

Thin or thick socks.

 

Thin socks are for those shoes which are tighter and thick socks are for shoes which are looser.

 

That’s a no brainer you may think.

 

Once I decide on which sock to wear, I’d decide on which shoe to wear. And then depending on the color of the shoes (black or brown), I’d decide on the color of the belt.

 

Once the belt color is decided, then id decide on the color of my pants, then I’d decide the shirt color.

 

So, in actual fact, the choice of  my look, depends on what type of socks I want to wear on that day.

 

I came to this revelation a few days ago and I thought it was a little weird.

 

Parents

One small thing im thankful for of late is that my parents get along well with my in-laws.

 

My parents are nice and easy-going people and so are my in-laws.

 

But that doesn’t mean anything, especially when I sometimes hear horror stories about in-laws and expectations of their new child-in-law and I don’t take this harmony for granted.

 

It helps that both families like to eat, especially crab.

 

Now, all I need are my in-laws to know how to get to my parents’ place so that they can go directly to pass them things, rather than pass through me. Haha.

 

Looking Forward

Sometimes I think I cant sit still.

I must always have something to look forward to.

I must also look forward to something next to buy, some new event coming up, some new change. I just cant sit still. It's irritating sometimes.

Yet at the same time, it's exciting. What a dilemma.

Eerie?

This is another gift i got from the wedding.

It's a little eerie i think.

First Clothes

This is what I wore in the morning of the wedding. I like to be well prepared. Everything hung near the toilet with even the cufflinks in the cuffs.

Can you see how textured and shiny my Hermes tie is?

First Gift

We received our first gift a week before the wedding from T|ny. Still got ang pao even though she didnt attend. How thoughtful! I love unsolicited money!

1 Week On

Phew, it's been a little over a week since the wedding is over.

It feels like a huge burden has been removed. It feels like it's after the exams now and I dont have to worry about feeling guilty about doing something else other than wedding preparations.

Now, onto our next project. And Im not talking about making babies.

Today!

Today is the day!

What kind of underwear do you wear on your wedding day?

You know it's a special day and that warrants a special thought to your choice of underwear.

But at the same time, because it's a special day, you want to be with one that you can rely on, i.e. an old one.

Plus, it's been raining a lot recently and my laundry hasnt dried as fast as they should.

Decisions decisions.

By the time I blog again, i think ill be married. That's a scary thought. 

Gifts Exchange

We did the whole gifts exchange thingy last Saturday. I think it's just dumb.

There's a specific list of items to bring - wine, oranges, a large ang pao, cakes, and some pork. I said "some pork" is because actually tradition dictates it to be an entire pig but because it's so troublesome, people find alternatives. However, this doesnt simply mean you cut a small piece of pork. It has to be "a whole piece", whatever it means. And it must be cut in a certain way. But! But But But! It can however be replaced by the canned pig trotters. That's so incredulous really.

Some of the canned pork and other items that i bring over will be returned to me and these have to come in a quantity that fulfils some criteria - must be even number, the number, after returning to be must also be an even number and not be "4". The said number must also, logistically, be not a too big number.

So basically, I lugged 8 bottles of wine and others all the way there and then brought 6 back. Actually brought S$1888 in ang pao and the female side was supposed to keep $888 but last minute decided to keep $88 because $888 is a three digit number. So in that regard, I just saved $800. w00t!

I think it's just silly. Traditions aside, we just spent so much effort acquiring these things and packing them for a 10-minute exchange.

Bangkok

We stole away to Bangkok for four days because there was a good deal on Groupon.

$480 for return tickets and accommodation for two! WOW!

And so we went on our first holiday in 1.5 years.

There isnt much about Bangkok other than cheap shopping and food. Therefore, unsurprisingly, all the pictures we took were of us eating. Here're some from night street food place called Sukhumvit 38.

You need to turn into this alley where the best stalls are congregated.

Check out this mango sticky rice stall. One of the best I've ever eaten. 

Try also the porridge, pad thai and wanton mee. The pad thai is one of the best ive eaten despite going to Bangkok more than 20 times.

Blogging

I find that these days my posts are very short.

Sometimes I am just too lazy to type, sometimes I just have so many things in my mind.

So many things occupy my mind these days that i sometimes just stare into blank space.

For the last 5-6 days, i have been dreaming about the wedding. They arent exactly nightmares but when i awake from them, i cant sleep anymore. Bleah.

Rain and Laundry

It's been raining on and off recently that it's so hard to get the laundry dry. This reminded me of my mum's frequent complaints before. Now I know how she feels. Called her to tell her and she said "Now you know la!"

Haha.. my mum.

Wedding Planning

Wedding planning is such a pain in the ass.

There are so many details to look into and at the same time so much money spent. Bleah.

I hope the ang paos will be substantial so that I dont have to pay so much.

Bleah.

In order to get away from it all, we are going for a holiday to Bangkok next weekend. Hope it wont be that hot.

Wedding Invites

Went to collect the wedding invites the other day. 

I guess it's real now huh? 

Hee Hee

Gifts

My gifts for the brothers arrived the other day.

For an inexplicable reason, I didn't buy one for myself. Weird.

Neighbours

Before we moved in, we felt a little bad that our extensive renovations were going to affect our neighbours and make them hate us even before we moved in.

So before renovations started, we bought boxes of Ferrero Rocher and gave to the three units on our floor as well as the unit directly below us.

I actually cant remember if i had blogged about that before.

Two of the three units on our floor are rentals so that was a little waste of money but the nearest unit beside us owns the apartment. They have three sons with the oldest being quite close in age to us.

All three sons have great bodies. And you know what? I have never seen the oldest son in a shirt before. He comes back from the pool in his trunks (with his girlfriend in a bikini), he goes jogging topless, etc.

When I went over to pass some new year goodies to them to reciprocate the gifts they brought over, the third son, whom i saw for the first time then, was in tight boxers and his body is oh so tight. If i had gay persuasions...

Second son isn't as hot.

Do you know the scene from "Date Night" when Steve Carell told Mark Wahlberg to just go put on a shirt after the latter opened his door thrice topless? It's the exact feeling i get.

Anyway, they're nice. Invited us for beef steak the other day and it was HUGE!

They also shared some gossip with us about other neighbors. 

And then just now, they heard us coming home and called out to us. To pass us a happycall thingy they bought for us cos we spoke about it during the said steak dinner. They only took the money cos we said we refused to hold the thingy if they didn't accept it. 

How nice is that??!?

Watches

I have been looking at buying a nice watch for some time now. But every time i get near to buying one, I either see something else nicer (and invariably more expensive) or dont have the guts to take the plunge. I thought rather than posting the watch that im eying, I thought I'd post my other watches too.

Here's the first watch i bought when i started work. When the battery died many many years back, i never changed it. I recently changed it and the watch shop man said that this is now a rare watch cos Seiko doesnt do Titanium anymore.

Here's a Swatch by Phil Collins. You can see a caricature of his face there.

 Here's one by Armani.

 
 Another by Armani but Product (Red)

 

I bought this Breitling when i got my first bonus in my working life.

But the stupid thing is, because it's so valuable i didnt want to wear it that often so i bought this Seiko quite soon after.

 

This is the ipod nano i mentioned that i got as a surprise gift just a couple of weeks back, fitted with a watch strap.

 
 Here's a watch that i ordered the other day because there was a discount.

And this, is the latest IWC im eying. The spitfire 2012.

Why?

I blog so rarely nowadays that sometimes i wonder why you guys check back every day or so. Is it out of sheer habit or is it out of sheer voyeurism?

Lego!

There was a time in my life I used Lego to fill the void in my life. I bought many sets, which after a while, i found that i didn't have space to construct and display them. Therefore, some of them, especially the larger ones are still mint in their box or MITB in geek-speak. Someone was jealous that i bought a new car and she also wanted one. She has a ferrari at the back of her car and it is now crumbling. So i dug out my old lego sets and found the MITB Ferrari i never opened. No time to make it for her yet.

New Product

Someone sometimes sends the stuff she orders online to my office as i always have someone manning the reception. So when i received this parcel on my desk this morning when i came back to work after one week of traveling, I assumed it was one of those stuff she ordered. Mid-way through the day, Someone called and asked if i was in the office. I was. "Did you receive anything?" "Yes, one of your stuff." "Look carefully!" "Yeah, it's my name there." "Open it!" Here's what i found: A limited edition Red Product iPod Nano. Great for my jogs! What a good surprise! WHOPPEE! Another new product to my ever-growing Mac family.

Wedding

I havent been blogging much because there is just so much happening in my life recently that any free time seems to be better spent just vegetating in front of the TV rather than sitting in front of the computer. In some ways, now i get why some people are a little phobic when their phones ring or their blackberries buzz. Naturally there isnt much progress on the wedding. Dinner menu isnt settled, invitation card design not settled, general logistics not settled, blah blah and the list goes on Because I want to keep it small, I didnt tell those friends whom im not inviting (duh!), but it doesnt help that friends tell other friends whom im not inviting. Now there's a conundrum of seating and everything. Life should be better spent with other stuff.

Health

Health is wealth guys.

Green Tea

Out of the blue, a client just sent me a box of Hangzhou Longjing tea. Good stuff actually. I think it came from the same place in my previous post that i wrote about Emperor Qian Long and the tea he planted.

iLife

After a disappointing run with the current blackberry, which has a sucky battery life as well as slow OS, i have decided to take the plunge to get an iPhone to complement my BB. This thus completes my family of apple products. I now have an ipod, ipad, macbook air, imac, iphone, airport express too.

India - An Odd Dichotomy

Growing up, I also heard from my father who went to India about the filth and grime and poverty that was India. 25 years on, when i first went to the world's largest democracy last year, I thought it would be better and it'd be different. Because the trip last year was so hectic, I didn't get to see much of the city. On the trip the past week, i did manage to see Delhi and Mumbai in greater detail. I think this picture shows what Im trying to say. Here i am high up in this decent five-star hotel and in the cityscape, i can see a shantytown on the right hand side of the picture and offices on the left hand side. I have read and learnt about shantytowns in pri/sec school textbooks but have never really seen one. They look all right from the top but when you're on street level, you can see the sire conditions they live in. India has some of the world's nicest hotels and yet some of the neighbours of these hotels are the poorest around. Quite sad really.

A little room

In the continuing series of weird places where i discuss my deals.

This time in a time little hotel room in India. Very colonial style and very small.

A little pat on the shoulder

After receiving news of my bonus, I went to buy this, as a proverbial patting yourself on the back.

It's relatively muted as compared as in the past because sometimes i think i give myself too many pats too often. Haha. 

Technology Connects?

Im all for technology.

Believe me, I carry an iPod, iPad, Kindle, macbook air whenever i travel.

Plus my idea of connecting with others is checking up on them and spying on their pictures on FB.

But this takes the cake when you're outside having lunch with your wife and either your dad or father in law, you are glued to the iPad watching drama serials.

Pretty absurd if you asked me.

Nanjing Scape

Another shot of where i went in Nanjing.

The view was quite breath-taking although i don't think the picture does it justice.

High-Tech Bak Gua

We passed by this shop who touted themselves as the supplier for Lim Chee Guan. You know the one where people would queue for two hours.

We were feeling greedy and the price seemed rather reasonable. And of course, we ate so many samples that it was a little embarrassing not to buy.

So we bought 500gm of Kim Joo Guan.

I don't usually blog about food nowadays but i thought this merited an entry.

The pack comes in a nice gold-ish paper bag.



The pack is air-sealed in this gold wrapping.



There's a plastic cover on the pack.



Then after your remove the plastic cover, you need to peel off another air-sealed layer.



Finally! Some meaty goodness after clearing so many hurdles.

15 Things

Interesting article I saw on Facebook. If this article were to be believed, I need to make some life adjustments.

15 Things You Should Give Up To Be Happy 

Here is a list of 15 things which, if you give up on them, will make your life a lot easier and much, much happier. We hold on to so many things that cause us a great deal of pain, stress and suffering – and instead of letting them all go, instead of allowing ourselves to be stress free and happy – we cling on to them. Not anymore. Starting today we will give up on all those things that no longer serve us, and we will embrace change. Ready? Here we go:

1. Give up your need to always be right. There are so many of us who can’t stand the idea of being wrong – wanting to always be right – even at the risk of ending great relationships or causing a great deal of stress and pain, for us and for others. It’s just not worth it. Whenever you feel the ‘urgent’ need to jump into a fight over who is right and who is wrong, ask yourself this question: “Would I rather be right, or would I rather be kind?” Wayne Dyer. What difference will that make? Is your ego really that big?

2. Give up your need for control. Be willing to give up your need to always control everything that happens to you and around you – situations, events, people, etc. Whether they are loved ones, coworkers, or just strangers you meet on the street – just allow them to be. Allow everything and everyone to be just as they are and you will see how much better will that make you feel. “By letting it go it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try. The world is beyond winning.” Lao Tzu

3. Give up on blame. Give up on your need to blame others for what you have or don’t have, for what you feel or don’t feel. Stop giving your powers away and start taking responsibility for your life.

4. Give up your self-defeating self-talk. Oh my. How many people are hurting themselves because of their negative, polluted and repetitive self-defeating mindset? Don’t believe everything that your mind is telling you – especially if it’s negative and self-defeating. You are better than that. “The mind is a superb instrument if used rightly. Used wrongly, however, it becomes very destructive.” Eckhart Tolle

5. Give up your limiting beliefs about what you can or cannot do, about what is possible or impossible. From now on, you are no longer going to allow your limiting beliefs to keep you stuck in the wrong place. Spread your wings and fly! “A belief is not an idea held by the mind, it is an idea that holds the mind” Elly Roselle 6. Give up complaining. Give up your constant need to complain about those many, many, maaany things – people, situations, events that make you unhappy, sad and depressed. Nobody can make you unhappy, no situation can make you sad or miserable unless you allow it to. It’s not the situation that triggers those feelings in you, but how you choose to look at it. Never underestimate the power of positive thinking.

7. Give up the luxury of criticism. Give up your need to criticize things, events or people that are different than you. We are all different, yet we are all the same. We all want to be happy, we all want to love and be loved and we all want to be understood. We all want something, and something is wished by us all.

8. Give up your need to impress others. Stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not just to make others like you. It doesn’t work this way. The moment you stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not, the moment you take of all your masks, the moment you accept and embrace the real you, you will find people will be drawn to you, effortlessly.

9. Give up your resistance to change. Change is good. Change will help you move from A to B. Change will help you make improvements in your life and also the lives of those around you. Follow your bliss, embrace change – don’t resist it. “Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls” Joseph Campbell

10. Give up labels. Stop labeling those things, people or events that you don’t understand as being weird or different and try opening your mind, little by little. Minds only work when open. “The highest form of ignorance is when you reject something you don’t know anything about.” Wayne Dyer

11. Give up on your fears. Fear is just an illusion, it doesn’t exist – you created it. It’s all in your mind. Correct the inside and the outside will fall into place. “The only fear we have to fear, is fear itself.” Franklin D. Roosevelt

12. Give up your excuses. Send them packing and tell them they’re fired. You no longer need them. A lot of times we limit ourselves because of the many excuses we use. Instead of growing and working on improving ourselves and our lives, we get stuck, lying to ourselves, using all kind of excuses – excuses that 99.9% of the time are not even real.

13. Give up the past. I know, I know. It’s hard. Especially when the past looks so much better than the present and the future looks so frightening, but you have to take into consideration the fact that the present moment is all you have and all you will ever have. The past you are now longing for – the past that you are now dreaming about – was ignored by you when it was present. Stop deluding yourself. Be present in everything you do and enjoy life. After all life is a journey not a destination. Have a clear vision for the future, prepare yourself, but always be present in the now.

14. Give up attachment. This is a concept that, for most of us is so hard to grasp and I have to tell you that it was for me too, (it still is) but it’s not something impossible. You get better and better at with time and practice. The moment you detach yourself from all things, (and that doesn’t mean you give up your love for them – because love and attachment have nothing to do with one another, attachment comes from a place of fear, while love… well, real love is pure, kind, and self less, where there is love there can’t be fear, and because of that, attachment and love cannot coexist) you become so peaceful, so tolerant, so kind, and so serene. You will get to a place where you will be able to understand all things without even trying. A state beyond words.

15. Give up living your life to other people’s expectations. Way too many people are living a life that is not theirs to live. They live their lives according to what others think is best for them, they live their lives according to what their parents think is best for them, to what their friends, their enemies and their teachers, their government and the media think is best for them. They ignore their inner voice, that inner calling. They are so busy with pleasing everybody, with living up to other people’s expectations, that they lose control over their lives. They forget what makes them happy, what they want, what they need….and eventually they forget about themselves. You have one life – this one right now – you must live it, own it, and especially don’t let other people’s opinions distract you from your path.

Nanjing - Ming Dynasty Walls

Oddly enough i have three deals in Nanjing going on. That isnt ideal because i'd prefer them to be in three different cities than all being in one. But beggers cant be choosers. So that means I go to Nanjing very often. I like it because i like to see the Ming dynasty city walls. From this picture, you can see the walls. From where i was, i was within the city and beyond those walls was outside of the city. If you look clearly, you can see the city gates not unlike those gates you see in period dramas. I wonder how it was like living in those days. No internet, no electricity. Just running around all day and taking the city exams in the hope to be a 状元.

Merry

Have i told you that i'm getting married soon? I havent told many people cos I'm afraid of the massive fall-out amongst all the single gals i know. Im keeping it small and not inviting anyone i havent met for the last six months.

Korean Gift

I hosted the Mayor of Busan the other day. At the end of the meeting, he gave me this. When i showed Someone the box, she said it was exactly the same box as one that she has gotten before. I opened my box and it turns out that there's another box inside. It's some mother-of-pearl box. And it's exactly the SAME one that Someone got some years back! Seems like the korean economy is in a worse shape that everyone thought.

Gifts

Some of you older readers might remember i have a pretty Shanghai gal friend. She has since gotten married and is expecting. In fact, she was due lat week but now still waiting for baby to come out. Time flies, doesn't it? I have now known her for more than eight years now. Right from young punks to young adults, we shared our ideals and aspirations even though we came from different worlds. I remember a particular conversation where we spoke about how it'd be weird to get married and tough to meet up as often as we did. That conversation didn't happen too long ago. But the fact is, the frequency of us meeting up got lower and lower because we just got so busy with our own lives. At the same time, i didn't wish to impose on her every time i come, she might take time out to meet me and entertain me. We had a three-hour lunch the last time i was in Shanghai. It was nice catching up and nicer because i didn't have anymore meetings left and she was on maternity leave waiting for baby to come out. At the end, she gave me these. Turned out to be his and her key chains. How sweet!

Peacocks!

Saw these peacocks by the road the other day. Had to stop my car to let them cross the road.

便当

I've no idea if that's how you write 便当 but lest you think i eat big fish big meat all the time. We were negotiating contracts until 12pm when the client said it was lunch time and they said they ordered 便当 for me. They brought it in and said see me at 230pm. ??? Some of you might not know but the chinese would have lunch then take naps. But usually for my other clients, they dont do that! So im all alone in their office and read my Kindle till they returned.

Scirocco Flash Mob

For those Star Wars geeks out there:

Beijing/Tianjin/Nanjing/Shanghai

It seems like one of those normal multi-city trips squeezed into a week. Three different hotels in one week. Literally living out of the bag. I was a little apprehensive going to Tianjin because i never had good experiences going to Tianjin. The first time i went, that was probably 6 years ago, I got a complaint from a client to my boss for another project. That was shitty. The second time i went, I left my charger there. It was a pretty good trip this time actually. In fact, the client asked me for an LOI. In my world, that's a good thing. Arrived in Singapore at 6am on Saturday and after unpacking, and washing my car, I went for a meeting at 10am. Am i working too hard? Achieving a work-life balance isnt easy. Some companies exhort it, some people try to practise it. There was an announcement of pay increment this week, with the official amounts, including bonus to be provided in an official letter next week. The pay increment has already been paid into our accounts, including an accrued amount for January. On pay day, I hurriedly went to check my account, with the following formula in mind. Increment = (Current balance - balance before pay was credited)/2 Of course, as always increment is lower than expectation. Now waiting for bonus announcement.