??!?

Last week I mentioned that my friend and his friend are coming to Shanghai to recce his potential new workplace.

I am typically more passive about asking if they need any help. But this time because he’s an old friend, I asked him if he’d like me to help with hotel bookings, arrange pick-up and also told him Someone and I are available for a meal to share our experiences in Shanghai to aid his considerations.

I mentioned this twice and stopped at that because he said to confirm later. I wasn’t sure if it was because he didn’t want to bother me or he had other plans.

Then one evening before his scheduled arrival, my friend told me that he’s at the airport liao. Change of dates. He will come first and his friend (the job seeker) will arrive the next morning at 7am. He’s going to stay at a hotel he booked. I checked. It was a shitty location hotel.

I was like.. what?

He could have stayed at my place or I could have gotten him a hotel booking. I confirmed later that the hotel price he paid was twice as much as what I could have gotten him at a better location and with free internet.

I asked later why he didn’t ask me for help. His wife asked him to ask me. His cousin asked him to ask me. In fact, his cousin asked me to help him with hotel bookings before and I barely know the bugger.

I guess that’s all one can do at times. You can offer and you can ask, but the other party has to be a willing recipient.

It’s odd that people I’d love to help, I end up not really helping much. And the people I'm not so inclined to, I end up letting them and their brother stay for a week and also do laundry for others.